not for you
/
sucked like smoke through a window
i maintain the writing of a five-year-old
of a pregnant girl floating round
the room of my unmade
to whom if i may if the questions squint
of Little-Bo-Peepness
of beatniks
of nobody told me i could be broken
into the twist of the bitterest
melon fell in deeper
father keeper of the seed
need indeed a deeper knowing
of myself i say nothing of the way
i saw you sinking into wet
without a cry for me
oh my do try to fly
awake a breath encounter death
around the corner shops at eight
in time to remonstrate we met
in evenings spinning nothing from
why don’t we becauses and fuzzes and
water’s not what is the point
of my sadness my speaking of
witches i never knew
you were in touch with my weakness
from lack of air you drowned they said
in spite of whistle-if-you-need-mes
who sees me in telephones ringing
hands to surround me Problems Astound Me
found me sitting on the wall
i watched you paint a picture of the sons and sinners too
in tune to touch too soon the chances
i have dances on my own
to watch you never
home again and right i’ll just
goodnight you said it wouldn’t hurt
as much as this is worth in terms of
what is missing from my world you said
you knew i loved you too much
pain to strain my oneness
my higgelty-piggelty-tangled-complicity funness
shun this witness-seeing being out of contact with ourselves
our shelves of books of lives that don’t reflect
their owners are not ours
is not a question of an answer never given
for the lonely that and only
nothing more i said
i never wanted life without you
of the many never any
had i felt to reach this thatness that
you showed me this
explode me into rubble
with a bang but not the bubble
not for you
